Mass Deportations To Save The Kittens

Why reports of animal cruelty stirred up anti-immigrant sentiment more than anything else

Cats now live in mortal danger around Haitians, according to conservative influencers. Reports surfaced from Springfield, Ohio, that Haitian migrants are hunting furry friends down and eating them. While these reports haven’t been confirmed, they have captured the attention of conservatives. X has exploded with memes about the matter. Conservatives arguably have never been more upset over migrants than over the thought they may be killing cats. Donald Trump referenced it in his debate with Kamala Harris. Prominent politicians shared AI memes over how Trump will protect kittens. The Arizona GOP even made billboards advertising “Eat Less Kittens. Vote Republican.”

It’s notable that the Haitians eating cats meme is now arguably the primary fixation for wanting fewer immigrants. There are other stories to show the devastation wrought by mass immigration. One recent example is Venezuelan gangs taking over apartment complexes in Aurora, Colorado, and using them to sell drugs and pimp children. There is no dispute over what’s happening there, yet no billboards are going up about it. Conservatives do talk about it and Trump mentioned it in the debate. But it doesn’t generate the same level of passion.

There are plenty of people, including many children, who have been killed by migrants under Joe Biden’s watch. But none of them could touch off a social media frenzy like the threatened kittens. This is because America is deeply attached to pets. Stories of animal cruelty inspire murderous outrage in America. Folks on social media will have no qualms about calling for the death penalty for those suspected of harming a household pet. It’s less socially acceptable to show such bloodlust over someone accused of murdering a fellow human.

When told these dogs and cats are in mortal danger around Haitians, Americans will pay attention. It shocks people in a way that other stories won’t. There’s always been a deep antipathy toward eating pets in western society. Cultures that would eat dogs and cats were seen as primitive and savage in our eyes. To have these habits in our own country is deeply unsettling.

But there’s also a new factor contributing to the uproar. 

For many Americans, pets have replaced children. More American households have a pet than kids. Dogs and cats are precious creatures for our society. In the past, the most valued beings would be children. Attacks on them would be seen as grievous offenses demanding a bloody retribution. But fewer Americans have that attachment to children. Instead, it’s been directed to pets. The ultimate lovable creatures requiring our protection are puppies and kittens, not toddlers. 

Pets lie at the center of the modern American experience. As a society, we cherish these animals sometimes to the point of prioritizing them over children. Your neighborhood is more likely to see a new dog park built than a playground. More restaurants and shops make themselves pet-friendly while doing little to make themselves kid-friendly. Many Americans will happily greet a passing dog and talk to its owner, but avoid a mom and her child.

That’s just the way America is.

It’s fitting that the “Haitian eating pets” meme became an issue in  the 2024 campaign. Besides the obvious immigration angle, there’s also the matter of “childless cat ladies.” Democrats are trying to paint Republicans as hostile to this demographic in the hopes it will turn single ladies against the GOP. This effort is mostly based on past comments made by J.D. Vance against childless cat ladies. Democrats honed in on this because they know there's a growing cohort of childless Americans deeply attached to pets. It’s smart politics to make the GOP appear to be anti-single pet owners. 

The rebuttal is the “Eat Less Kittens” billboard. The only thing that will protect cat ladies’ precious fur babies from a Haitian cookout is a second Trump term. It’s a hilarious message, and it may work to convince voters to want immigration restriction.

Restrictionists have tried to win over the public to their cause with a variety of appeals. They’ve warned immigrants take Americans’ jobs and lower their wages. They’ve pointed out migrants suck up government benefits and prove a burden on state resources. They’ve detailed how migrants change our culture and create more social conflict. And they’ve documented the horrible crimes they commit. But all of these may pale in comparison to the potency of believing migrants kill household pets.

In a nation of childless cat ladies, this may be the only way to convince our fellow citizens to shut down mass immigration.