Parade Review

The Army birthday celebration is about what you’d expect from a military parade in modern America

President Trump allegedly unleashed fascism on Washington D.C. last weekend. The Army’s 250th birthday parade generated intense controversy before it even started. Liberals shrieked it would be a “fascist spectacle” to herald Trump’s authoritarian takeover of America. It’s apparently un-American to allow the U.S. army to march around in our nation’s capital.

When the parade concluded, reactions were mixed. Conservatives and the people who watched it in person loved it. Everybody there was in a good mood and liked seeing the tanks. But outside observers weren’t so impressed. Libs persisted in seeing it as fascist, while many on RW Twitter found it underwhelming and even cringe. Both the far left and far right thought it would be a military parade in the model of Russia’s Victory Day parades, complete with stone-cold soldiers marching in lock-step and menacing displays of military might. The far left was horrified by this prospect, while the far right was thrilled by the idea.

But that wasn’t what greeted the nation. It was more like a local July 4th celebration than a totalitarian spectacle. It was truly American, for better or for worse. It was the most you could expect out of a military parade in 2025.

The troops were far-from the grim-faced troopers of the Wehrmacht or the Red Army in their famous parades. The ones who drove or rode in vehicles smiled and waved at the crowd. It reminded one of homecoming parade floats. The difference is that they sat atop death-dealing machines rather than platforms made in shop class. The troops casually marched, many not doing it in time. The music that played over the marching wasn’t bombastic martial music. It was instrumental versions of rock hits from Metallica, Van Halen, and similar acts. The crowd seemed to like it but live stream watchers found it bizarre. It did seem to trivialize the event and make it more like a football game than a reverent affair.

There was much talk about how the Army would show off historical uniforms at the parade. It was nice to see the old outfits, but it was strange seeing Asian women in the Continental Army and black females playing Union cavalrymen. It’s not surprising the military would reveal its current level of diversity when it honored its past. These are the soldiers currently serving. But it still diminished the impression. It would’ve been better if there were only a few soldiers in period garb rather than entire multicultural units. It was a well-intentioned idea, but it didn’t quite work in execution.

The crowd was almost as interesting as the parade itself. It was a very MAGA event.. It was majority white with a sizable number of Hispanics. Sleeveless tees were very common, as were Metallica shirts. Even more common was Trump merch. Tattoos were in abundance, with pretty much everyone under 40 having them. Most didn’t just have one tattoo, but had several visible ones across their calves and forearms. This wasn’t a great sight for a Greerhead, but it was at least nice to be at a large DC event without the stench of weed. Trump’s base is certainly not bourgeois in its style. Downscale whiteness was more the fashion. It was overall a good crowd full of friendly patriots who love Trump and hate libtards. You could do a lot worse for public events in modern America.

The crowd didn’t quite know what to do when the soldiers went by. There wasn’t continuous cheering. Some formations drew loud cheers, people went nuts for the parachutists dropping in, and “U! S! A!” chants would break out every once-in-a-while. But it was a tad awkward with people unsure of how to respond to the soldiers walking by. They knew to wave back when tankers waved, but that was the only crowd cue communicated. This is the first large-scale military parade since 1991. Americans aren’t experienced in what to do here.

The parade was overall a good time. It was cool to see the tanks, there was a positive vibe in the crowd, and it didn’t rain. It was a nice thing for Trump to do. But I wouldn’t call it inspiring. If the event was meant to instill a deep, almost mystical kind of patriotism, I don’t think it succeeded. But if it was simply meant to be a fun event for families to cheer on the Army and feel some pride in being an American, I think it did the job. Most Americans would be content with that.

Americans are a pragmatic, democratic, and earthly people. They would find it weird if our government put on a military parade straight out of Wilhelmine Germany. Even Trump supporters would wince if they saw soldiers goosestepping along the National Mall. It’s just not our national style. We view this as something “bad foreigners” do. We prefer a military with a more down-to-earth, common man touch. It creates less separation between citizens and soldiers, and it’s more aligned with our values.

Much of the Right would prefer the patriotism of Wilhelmine Germany where a homogenous people could join together and sing nationalist songs as they watched their soldiers march by in time. But that’s just not going to happen here. Do you want to belt out the “Battle Hymn of the Republic” along with Jorge and Jamal? The idea of that is too ridiculous to think about. Our patriotism is too ordinary for that.

But one can still relate to W.E.B. Du Bois’s longing for something like that of our own. The black intellectual wrote:

The pageantry and patriotism of Germany in 1892 astonished me. In New England our patriotism was cool and intellectual. Ours was a great nation and it was our duty to preserve it. We “loved” it but with reason not passion… When I heard my German companions sing “Deutschland, Deutschland über Alles, über Alles in der Welt” I realized that they felt something I had never felt and perhaps never would. The march of soldiers, the saluting of magnificent uniforms, the martial music and rhythm of movement stirred my senses.

But that experience no longer exists anywhere in the West. Germans are not even comfortable hearing their national anthem, much less belting it out with deep emotion. Americans are much more patriotic than Europeans, and we express it in a more ordinary fashion. We want our patriotic events to be like a county fair or a baseball game, regardless if it involves military might. That’s Americana for ya.

The parade was fine, if you had reasonable expectations. We are a 57 percent white country where the average person doesn’t care much about the past and who’s far more familiar with Captain America than Andrew Jackson. The most we can hope for is that these events aren’t woke. The Army parade managed to do that.